Getting to the Heart of Unconditional Love

One of my favorite “fiction”  books is Running From Safety by Richard Bach.  The tag-line declares it “an adventure of the spirit”. The back-jacket poses this enticing question: “If the child we were asked us today for the best we learned from living, what would we tell and what would we discover in return?”

The book chronicles the author’s healing journey as an adult through a metaphysical encounter  with himself as a child.   Richie, his 9 year old child self, emerges from imprisonment within the psyche of the author and through thoughtful and honest dialogue, Richie begins his journey to integration as part of Richard’s present life. It is a sensitively told story of universal experience about our journey to wholeness. As we gather the parts of us we have abandoned at various times in our lives, we begin to live more aware and conscious of all of who we are and to remember that at our core we are both wise and infinitely loving.   As Richard unfolds this message,  his life transforms. He unravels the knots of restriction that had paralyzed his heart and he exhales into self acceptance,  his infinite potential for connection and the safety that comes from trusting the eternal presence of unconditional love.

Activating unconditional love through unconditional giving – the relationship issue

Activating unconditional love in our lives is really a two-step process – letting go of past grievances and making the conscious decision to actively love every experience. In a very powerful handbook, Your Body Speaks Your Mind, author Debbie Shapiro suggests that we have a choice to be thankful and loving always. She indicates that opening our heart to love and allowing love into “every crack and crevice of our lives enables us to take risks and embrace the unknown”.   In my opinion, that means always being ready to give and that is where the rubber meets the road in this quest to be unconditionally loving. It asks for selflessness. It requires taking risk. It suggests that if there is a decision to be made between holding back our love or giving it, that we choose for the latter.

The arena where this practice can be most exercised is in relationships – primary, friendships, co-workers, with our children – all relationships. In our culture the perceptions around relationship more often are about ‘ keeping score’,  fulfilling a list of how the other person should look, talk, act, and having our personal needs met  than it is about true connection and regard for the other.  We seem to be so ‘on guard’ for fear of losing  something of ourselves in relationship that we forget to give! We often place an inordinate amount of importance on our egoic identity as if loss of that is certain death. Yet if you think about it, giving isn’t giving away parts of ourselves. It is simply honoring our mutual humanity by respecting the needs of the other. Besides, we (the we that really matters and that is our true ‘us’-ness)  always was and always will be completely intact. Our soul and vitality cannot be broken.  It is in giving that we live active unconditional love. Giving is the hallmark of trust that we won’t break and that we will be taken care of if we follow our heart’s bidding.

The eternal pool of giving – the place of absolute, undisturbed peace and happiness

I recall in meditation one day struggling with this notion of measured love versus walking the path of unconditional love. Past experiences cause a shutting down of our hearts in the false belief of protection against hurt and it is an understandable reaction to loss. Yet this safe way has never seemed the whole answer…it seems more isolating than healing. In that meditation I was ‘handed’ the message that the pool of giving is infinite – we don’t run out of giving – we simply just need to return to it and replenish our giving Selves. The image of that infinite pool of giving stays with me and I return to that pool often. It nourishes me, soothes me and accesses that place of absolute undisturbed peace and happiness. It is my buffer against the judgments and admonishments of the cultural norms that suggest there is a limit to giving and to love – give too much and you lose. …. not so! It is about connecting with the heart of the other’s heart…the place of unconditional love that sees only the light of love and regard that exists there.

I watched a friend lovingly make a full array of delicious food for his daughter’s graduation celebration. He spent the whole evening engaged in his labor of love – that is uncondiitonal love. It is when you ask for nothing in return – love is not confined to a balance sheet. It is not a bank account that eventually is spent to deficit. It is an open space that embraces  every opportunity to be a source of giving. Unconditional love is giving without reservation, without expectation, without fear of loss. Does this kind of love have risk – yes – by its very nature love is risk but it is measured against the constant flow of contact with that endless pool of giving we are always  connected to…..our happiness and well-being is connected to the amount we give, not the amount we get.

Living today from unconditional love

Again, quoting from Debbie Shapiro’s book – When we open our hearts and give with love…”We do not need to turn our backs on our neighbors because they are a different race or practice a different religion; we can accept the differences while recognizing our shared humanity. In place of fear, see a challenge that can be met with creative awareness. Fear contracts and pushes away; it holds tight and denies change or movement. Love is expansive and all-embracing; it welcomes change as an expression of all life.”  Perhaps we all could use more love and acceptance of each other especially in the caustic climate afoot in America today. It is fear at its most destructive!

If you want to understand the true nature of unconditional love, see this movie – Grand Torino. It will make you laugh, cry and understand how it is that opening our heart unconditionally changes everything.

” YOU’RE GOING TO BURN IN HELL! “

……Those damning words floated into the sleepy sanctity of our condo this morning. The condemnation, uttered with such conviction, was part of a longer ’sermon’  delivered as the speaker made his way down the street outside our window apparently warning invisible parishioners of the perils of sinful living. This fiery delivery was received in our domain with a wry and humorous comment about the glory of living downtown where all manner of humanity intermingles and shares their particular view of this existence.   But it did get me thinking about the conviction of truth from which those words were uttered and it did get me remembering what it felt like to hear those same sentiments as a young child growing up Catholic and wide-eyed with terror at the prospect of being consumed by flames because I did not obey and God was not pleased. Then, it was my first introduction to fear and the concept of Divine retribution. Today,  as a rational adult who has reconciled with logic, I realize that a punishing God is an oxymoron. Yet I am still amazed that  sentiments like the ones which arrived uninvited in our bedroom this morning are still afoot in our supposedly sophisticated culture. Do we really believe in ‘hell’? Really? Still?

As I pondered the question, I considered how much of our existence is centered around our cellular fear of dying and ‘burning in hell for all eternity’ because we are flawed and at our core, reprehensible.  So our fear of  annihilation sends us seeking safe harbor from death in any way we can.  At the heart of our individual, national and global conflicts is fear in some form.  In an effort to prevent any experience of pain and suffering which is part of our ‘meta-fear’, we as individuals become self-absorbed,independent and self-sufficient and abhor any kind of weakness; we work ceaselessly to become wealthy and live apart from that which would harm us; we are obsessed with our health and longevity, apparently believing that we can outlive the inevitable evolution of our death. In the national arena,  Republicans set themselves  against Democrats and the President as a way to render themselves relevant. Their fear mounts as their reason fails. In California  Proposition 8 pits those who fear the loss of the identity of marriage against  the Gay-Lesbian Community who simply are seeking constitutional equality;  pro-choice supporters fight against the pro-life proponents.    In  international conflicts it is ownership of land vs inherited rights to occupy land,   nuclear proliferation vs disarmament, religious fundamentalism vs religious fundamentalism and the omni-present war on terrorists vs those who torture in the name of peace. It seems that if we fight and win against another, our power and rightness is affirmed and our fear is vanquished – at least until the next fearful monster appears under our bed and the whole cycle begins anew.

OK, so we know the issue – what is to be done about it?  As in all solutions, the work begins at home – within us…..

In Voice Dialogue speak, Protectors are the ‘first-born’ parts in our psyches. Given the above, this comes as no surprise. Protectors are the part of us charged with that sacred duty to keep us safe and avoid fearful situations at all costs. Sometimes they employ the services of such parts of us as Judges and Righteous Zealots to be the armor that battles all those who would harm us in this human experience. Those loud voices of conviction leave no room for awareness and perspective. They simply deliver their sermons about ‘you are wrong and I am right’ ‘God is on my side and because He is, I will win’ and “anyone who does not agree with me is against me and must be removed or punished’ . They operate in the unadulterated belief that their job is to be right.

This situation begs the balance that the Voice Dialogue process offers. Within us, there indeed are voices of disowned parts  that can effect a different outcome – What if we could access the voices on the other side of this equation (if anyone was willing to compose another side or an equation!) -the voices that speak quietly of equality, respect for another’s point of view and belief….voices that invite dialogue and consensus and a sharing of life circumstance that evokes compassion and understanding?  This is not by any means an absolute suggestion – Any Voice Dialogue facilitator worth his/her salt knows that both sides of this energetic need be honored. I am not so niave as to suggest that there is no need to fear the likes of the illustrious leader of North Korea and his maniacal trek into the nuclear world. But in the worlds (and there are worlds) of possibility between these two extremes, lies the potential for reasonable discernment that is driven by awareness rather than fear.  It is akin to the reaction we had as we were assaulted with the damning prophecy this morning – did we take it as truth? No, did we normalize the experience? Yes. Did it become an awareness moment? Absolutely.

I have been reading Destiny of Souls by Dr. Michael Newton as preparation for training in Past Life Regression. This work is an astounding anthology of Dr. Newton’s  more than 30 years of investigations with clients into the ‘between lives’ experience. One of the most riveting truths I discovered in this book was  a consensus that ‘between life’ souls contemplating a return to another physical life crown the ‘Earth life experience’ as the most challenging because it is so full of conflict, passion, diversity and fear.  The greatest level of difficulty was unanimously chosen as fear. With all the beauty, humanitarianism, connection and love that is possible on this planet, I was astounded to realize the cosmic reputation our planet has acquired.

In the multi-dimensional model of Voice Dialogue lies the middle ground of reason and acceptance – a place that recognizes fear as an experience that is useful sometimes to keep us alive but that opens to the wider view of who we truly are at our essence and that invites by virtue of that perspective, a conscious dialogue with and choice of the behavior that is most supportive of our evolution as souls. The work of Voice Dialogue is sacred work that holds the light to the darkness of our terror and in that illumination. It is why we use it in our work with clients. it is why we teach it through our courses. It is the quintessential tool to effect lasting change — beginning one individual at a time. Perhaps in future incarnations, we who live on Earth now and who work out a truce with our own fears will effect a new quality that draws souls to reincarnate here…

If you are intriqued by Voice Dialogue and its possibilities and would like to know more feel free to visit our website: www.theemergentcoach.com or contact us at info@theemergentcoach.com. We teach courses and provide individual life coaching using this method.

I have been hyper-aware of noise lately, especially the noise of my own chatter.  What escapes into verbal conversation is often an overflow of what goes on inside my head.  There, interior to the walls of the physical, resides the ever-present background white noise of my thoughts….constantly directing, editing, worrying, criticizing, judging, inquiring and generally filling any available nook and cranny with some form of molecular activity. It is exhausting. It infringes on my ability to meditate, to be clear and to find the open, free space of silence.

Not unrelated to the internal cacophony, the external world of just plain living is clearly as loud and distracting. In our physical lives, we are bombarded with the constant sensory overload – from the demand to hold conversation with family, friends, students, co-workers, society in general,  to the invasive clamor of televisions, telephones, music, aircraft overhead, the laboring rumble of truck and bus engines, the familiar sounds of construction as we build, fix, maintain our cities and roads, the cries and questions of our children.  This external stimulus of every waking moment rarely stops.  Within this ubiquitous din resides all the enfolded messages that shape our behavior so that we can conform to a societal model of perfection. It creates the frenzied internal and external babble in which we are immersed and it causes unnecessary struggle and stress. It  becomes internalized as the low-level hum of inner chatter we unconsciously adapt to and  saps our energy and focus.

Terry and I have recently begun using a series of  guided meditations designed to support the taking back of the power of our minds from this frenzy. The CD’s series entitled Inner Talk use both subliminal (they list all the messages) messages and binaural beat technology. It was shortly after beginning to use these CDs that I noticed a deep, empty, delicious peace and quiet in my head that was very unfamiliar yet very welcome. That it was noticeable in the midst of a normal night of TV and other activity was even more remarkable and it has stayed with me. I am clearly aware of the quiet that has replaced the sensory overload of my thinking. So what does one do with silence?  Besides listening and actually getting in touch with intuitive messages, the most miraculous part of this rests in the loss of struggle I notice as I progress through a day. The someone looking  over my shoulder grading and measuring the perfection of everything I do no longer exists.  In the silence of this new space,  a sense of trust and confidence has emerged. This new pattern of transformed doubt has landed me solidly in the flow of all things and normalized the exhaustive struggle that had plagued my every move.

It is a definitive feeling of coming home to silence – a place I left behind long ago – a place that evokes  the ‘aaahhhh’ fall-into-grandma’s featherbed’ experience and a place that is consciously present in the midst of all the noise.  As I balance it with the activities of living and prosperity, I find the most profound gratitude for this discovery. Thank you, Terry for being the consummate explorer and adventurer, for being a living truth compass that I trust. As much as it is part of our mutual and individual progression of expansion, it is also a deep expression of universal love and regard….that is a gift I treasure and fully accept.

I admit it – I am a fierce Denver Nuggets fan. I love watching them play especially this season. They, collectively and individually have matured and become a cohesive team whose persistence and passion are inspiring to watch.  Yesterday they played the first game of the second tier of NBA playoffs. And they won a decisive victory over Dallas. One particular scoring caper stands out – JR Smith receives a pass near the basket and back passes to Carmelo Anthony who dunks it — so fast, so precise such a pretty sight to see. It was one of those important ‘in the moment’ opportunities. In order for it to have happened, everyone needed to be right there right now…not off in the ozone of unconsciousness. The potential in that moment was fully realized because presence -that moment- was all there was.

In the latest issue of Spirituality and Health there is an interview with Jill Bolte Talyor, Ph.D., a neuroanatomist and author of MyStroke of Insight. This book was written to recount her incredible eight-year recovery from a stroke that literally shut down the cognitive functions of her left brain. The book is worth the read as it shares some of the most profound insights into the function of our innate connection to Divine Joy. In response to the question ” What sort of techniques would you recommend for turning off the endless loops sometimes found in the left cognitive mind?” she shared this:

“…consciously choose to bring your mind to the present moment. How do you do that? You decide that you’re going to see what your eyes are looking at; you bring your consciousness to the present moment. When you are going up the stairs, you look at the steps, you look at the handrail. Most of us unconsciously climb the steps, can’t even say what the color of the carpet is, if there is a carpet, because we’re somewhere else. Pay attention to the present moment. Bring your mind, bring your ears to the present moment, start savoring the awareness of the information you perceive in the present moment, and let that grow. And it’s like with any circuitry: the more you concentrate on it and experience it, the more it will develop itself.”

How many times have I missed noticing someone as I passed them on the street, or driven by the mountain goats grazing on the mountainside and not seen them, or rummaged through a tool box not finding what wrench was right there before my eyes….this simple concept of looking, paying attention and “seeing what your eyes are looking at” brought into consciousness the deliberate actions needed to embody that ethereal and well utilized directive to be in the present moment. Interesting how you never really get it until it is time!! So from now on I will see what I look at…I will appreciate even more the brilliance of that choreography in the Nuggets game….I will engage all my senses and awareness with every step I take….

When you turn off the internal noise maker by  focusing, really focusing  on one thing in this present moment,  everything opens wide and you get to play in the field of possibility. You also get to experience the unbridled joy that waits to be invited in to your life…I want some of that!!!!

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Lately, it seems that the mettle is tested in persisting with personal vision and focus -

In addition to being constantly bombarded with information about national struggles of epic proportions that invite fear and panic -the latest being the potential swine flu ‘pandemic’,  our national shadow emerges as we learn the heinous details of how we tortured prisoners (we really did torture? America? the beacon of freedom and compassion in the world? We torture? ).  And closer to home, illness and incipient illness of loved ones who embody vitality, strength and eternal mentorship surface and remind me that this reality is illusory and time-bound.  The view from this burdened perspective also includes a sense being eclipsed by the capabilities of others and thus the perception of struggling to measure up to some obscure standard that has suddenly caused vulnerability.  Lately,  I find myself aware of the constant call to vigilance in charting a responsible, authentic personal and professional path – one that is free of  current dogmatic precepts. And I am painfully aware of the seeming absence of that ubiquitous need for instant gratification (the nurture upon which we were suckled)

….the load feels impossibly complex, unruly,  mysterious and self-defeating.

As is always the practice, the inquiry begins – how did this come to unfold as it has? why this? why now? what is the message  not being heard? Holding that in my consciousness, a curious image kept insisting itself into awareness. It persisted until I had to look.  It was a view of a hand holding a huge collection of multi-colored balloons whose backdrop was a blue sky of a summer day.  Perhaps the image is  suggesting  that even though we are diverse,  we are held together and entangled by the hand of our common human existence. And that hand holding us is connected to the source of its energy – the heart and body of which it is a part. It’s all god…Its all good… It’s all real… I could easily make the case that  this image was a simple metaphor showing the multidimensional truth that we are one. Yet, as true as this might be, that seemed way too simplistic and incomplete. It didn’t really even connect to the issue at hand.  Still seeking the message, it finally appeared…..What was important about this image was not the image or its meaning. What mattered was that when something like this shows up, we look at it…and we continue to inquire until it is clear why this image and why now. It demonstrated  a persistence of inquiry that is the hallmark of our business and our being and I was reminded of the value of such perseverance. The answer always shows up.

Then came the supportive awareness and the message I needed to hear:   It would be easy to give up and simply accept that realistically nothing will ever really change, that life will always be about our inability to break through into fully what we are capable of.  But each time that invitation  rears its head, something shows up to suggest a different course of action. This time, it was the image of the balloons. Another time it was  one of President Obama’s news conferences in which he declared that  persistence was a value he has lived by. It was clearly one of those truth shiver moments that made me realize that it is persistence that pushes us to keep on ‘keepin’ on’ even when it feels like life has entered the chamber of suspended animation….when everything grinds to a resounding halt and it seems that the only response to any effort is a deafening silence….

What emerges is the realization that the deafening silence is our own shrinking away and giving up. It is our own lack of trust traded for struggle. It is our futile attempt to petulantly control the outcomes and the timing of our existence. It is our fear of letting go and trusting. Persistence in its purest form is not about doing, producing more or living up to someone else’s standard. It is about dedication to infinite exploration and eternal inquiry to unlock the mystery of what stops us from living our lives free from the manipulations of our fears. So we continue to find new approaches to personal growth – to find what speaks to us that might support our efforts. If we look, really look – we are rewarded with an abundance of resources and limitless potential.

When we persist in our own personal self-inquiry and always ask the Who? Why? and Why now? and What is the message?, we grow and we break down the blocks that impede our natural aptitude for joyful creation.  That persistence is the essence of the work Emergent Coach  does – our business is nothing short of perpetual inner exploration that does not stop until the deepest awareness is surfaced……. there is always more! there is always opportunity to grow and expand! there is always the requirement to persist and dig and excavate in order to reach the intimate truth that is the guiding message.  By knowing our own internal resonance, we know when we have connected with the purpose for the experience. It is only through committed persistence of inquiry (different than the persistence of doing) that we map the path to that resonance and free ourselves to live in the wholeness and joy that is our birthright..it is nothing short of illuminating the path to excellence and quality that nurtures the deepest of soul satisfaction.

This morning, as I was performing the daily ablutions required to emerge into public view acceptably, I realized I was bored. I was tired of routine, of negative and fearful rhetoric and the snail’s pace of growth that our business seemed to be taking. Where is that ‘fairy godmother’ when you need her? Where is the magic fairy dust to transform desire into reality?  With a deep sigh, I clearly recognized this descent into despair … just in time to also become aware of something else present – a choice. I could go down this well-traveled road like a whiny, rebellious teenager and lament present day circumstances or I could catch a ride on a different train.  As I captured awareness before it went unconsciousness – I bought a ticket to somewhere else, hopped the train and began to inhale the new scenery. Oh how the landscape and my attitude changed. Good choice!!

That is how things have been evolving lately – greater and greater perception of the vastness beyond the smallness….I often see the cracked open doorway and more often venture through it into new perspective. Where did this begin? Actually with the post about my winning at gambling – “Save this day for Future Reference”.  As I sensed then, something opened up in that moment of success…the letting go into the flow of guidance was an unmistakeable milestone of awareness. I did not control anything when I chose to sit at that particular machine.  I simply entered into partnership with my internal direction. This feeling has been a guidepost ever since. In truth, it has not always been consciously there but I have often been able to recall the moment and recreate the feeling….that was the choice I made today — I felt the nudge of  awareness that opened a different door – into the  immensity in which we all participate.

As I have attempted to define that undefinable experience of a few weeks ago, I stumbled upon (well, not really stumbled – it is always with a deliberate hand we are guided ) a book in my library The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram by Sandra Maitri.  I came across this inspiring concept that fits what I am reaching to quantify:

“In the course of working on ourselves, we learn in time that when we stay on the surface of ourselves, which is to say when we are identified with and operating from our outer shell – our personality- we suffer. The more asleep we are to the reality beneath our shells, the less we feel that life is fulfilling, meaningful, and pleasurable. Or, in the language of the enneagram the more fixated we are, the less we partake of the loving nature of reality, for we have lost connection with Holy Love. Our suffering is not the result of being alone or of being in the wrong relationship;  is not because we don’t have enough money or because we have too much of it or because of anything of the sort. Nor is it because our outer surface doesn’t look as pretty as we think it should or because our personality isn’t as pleasant as we think it might be. We suffer because we are living at a distance from our depths – it’s as simple as that. The more our souls are infused with Being, the better we feel and the better life seems to us no matter what our outer circumstances happen to be.”  What I believe I tapped into when I won the jackpot was that quintessential truth, that Holy Love, that Being nature that holds Every-Thing and needs to control No-Thing…

Since President Obama’s inauguration I have found myself alternately celebratory and filled with dread at what is going on in this country. When I connected into the writings quoted above, and made the discovery of Holy Love and its universality, I realized that the dissent and sometimes shocking display of hate and racism is really the fear of change. This outrageous mob mentality is the outer shell that has disconnected from deeply understanding our universal connection to all things.  In the midst of this darkness shines the light of the First Family – aware, awake, unconditionally loving and universally embodying the meaning of Holy Love.

Maybe that is why I feel such emotion when I see crowds wildly cheering President Obama or young students in ecstacy over having encountered a loving, all-embracing hug from Michelle Obama….they individually and collectively invite the heart opening positivity of Holy Love. In those moments, we connect with our deepest truth – that we are Love at our core….that we are nothing but Being! and it feels good and free and alive in the same way it did when I won the jackpot.

The Voice Dialogue moment is inescapable:  On the one hand is a Self (archetypal) cloaked in fear, rebellion and deep disconnect from Essence. On the other side, lies the clearly Spiritual openess of acceptance, love and trust in the basic goodness of all beings. What we are seeing is the emergence of an Aware Ego process that turns down the volume on Fearful Warrior as a Primary Self and invites the presence of Loving, Aware Heart into the mix. Standing between these two opposites is the power of Aware Ego – personified in the actions of President Obama – holding the space for the possibility of Unity, mutual regard and Holy Love….

When that happens, we reach through the cracked open doorway into the vastness of our true nature – all of us, without exception – are loving at our core – It is a fundamental truth that we all know and must connect to in those split second moments when our awareness is awake –those moments before we fall unconscious.  What I have learned along this particular part of my journey – it is never about taking control of anything, it IS about utilizing everything that crosses our path as a way to stay connected with Holy Love….that is winning!

We are not outside the goodness of Being that is the very fabric of this existence….If we really knew that in our hearts – that we are in fact the fabric itself a fabric imbued with love, beauty and a recognition of our exquisite nature, how might it change the regard we have for each other ?

The Hubble Telescope offers a glimpse of our place in the Universe

Guest Post by Connie – thank you Connie for this sharing and much success in your business which finds the Sacred in Order!


I caught this story a few weeks ago on CNN:
Marie Douglas-David, a 36 year old Swedish countess, is divorcing her husband, George David a former CEO, and says she can’t live on $43 million. She wants $100 million in cash and stock, plus $130,000.00 a month in alimony. It went on to say that her husband’s weekly living expenses were somewhere in the range of $200,000.00.

We’ve all heard the saying “money can’t buy happiness”. But do we really believe that? If you look into the lives of most Americans we don’t seem to believe it at all. The behavior of most Americans would support the belief that happiness is found in accumulating more things, material pursuits and presenting the right image. The lie of our culture is that owning more stuff will lead to more happiness. While keeping up with the Joneses is part of American culture, comparing ourselves to others is damaging our happiness and self-esteem.

In his recent book, “The High Price of Materialism”, psychologist and researcher, Tim Kasser demonstrated that people whose values center on accumulation of wealth or material possessions face a greater risk of unhappiness including anxiety, depression, low-self esteem and problems with intimacy. Money seekers also score lower on tests of vitality and self-actualization. Other researchers have shown that once we have sufficient food, shelter and clothing, further materialistic gains do little to improve our well being. Many scientists believe that over-consumption is one of the problems threatening the well-being, and integrity of the earth’s eco-system.

Nowhere is this over-consumption more evident than in people’s homes. People’s lives are out of control and this chaos is reflected in their homes. People feel overwhelmed and the outward manifestation of this is the sheer volume of stuff in their environments. It’s hard for people to feel secure and centered, when they can’t find the floor beneath them. Too much stuff, too much clutter, too much consumption, paralyzed by stuff they don’t need. What does your home say about you? Are you out of touch with who you are, or deeply aware? Is your environment a sacred space that allows you to be yourself? Outer depends on inner. Your outer environment, regardless of whether you live in a home, apartment or a room, is a mirror of what’s going on inside of you. Your dwelling is your emotional, physical – essentially the energetic base for your life.

This energy or “life force” which has been recognized and used for centuries by ancient cultures has now been acknowledged today in our modern culture. The National Institutes of Health has strongly endorsed acupuncture which is based on this life force or “chi”. “Energy Healing” and related practices that affect bodily chi, are now mainstream and have been effective enough in promoting healing that they are now covered by many insurance policies. In a world that seems out of control, your home needs to provide a sanctuary of stability. This chi is the “energizing medium” or “connectivity” through which all of life works. And it can be worked with directly. Your home is not merely square footage – your home is your ally. Many Americans, some by choice, others by force, are choosing to downshift. People across the country are re-evaluating how they live their lives. People want balance, more connection and a more conscious life. Simplicity and happiness and a reconnection with the earth are the moving force that underlies this new movement. People want a return to the sacred. People are now discriminating between what helps them attain their goals and highest aspirations and what acts as distractions. Building with souls and gardens of spirit.

But where do you start. Here are a few suggestions.

First, have a desire – the desire to change.
Create a vision for your new life. Write down in detail exactly what you want. Never underestimate the power of having a vision. What is the vision of the life you want to live? What do you want your home to do for you? How do you want to feel when you walk into your home? You are the inventor and you get to make things up. Sages from every religious and philosophical background have said that what you put your attention on will grow in your life. So put your attention on what you want. And dream big! Do you want to come home to a space that welcomes you? Do you want a home that is healing and enhances the relationships of the people who live there? Maybe you don’t know what you want. Then that’s one of your desires. You could write it down in this way, “I will find out what I want, what will make me happy and provide meaning in my life”. I will clean out the basement to support my new transformation. I will de-clutter the kitchen counters. I will make the spare bedroom my new sanctuary. Take your time – dig deep. Well begun is half done.

Second, live with intention.
Living with intention – the more intentional you are in your choices the more change makes room for more changes. The power of intention resides in your mind – in your thoughts. You can use your thoughts to change your life. People who are wildly successful and fulfilled use their mind. They use their mind to design the kind of life they want and the person they want to become. Your thoughts, your intentions will open you up to endless potential – All Possibilities!

Third, Take Action
Take your desire and intention and then move into action. All the best desires and intentions do nothing unless one takes action. All the good thoughts in the world do nothing unless they manifest as results. And that takes action. You have to make 15 minutes available to clear the kitchen counter. You have to find the time to write down your goals. You have to commit to the process. No one else can do it. Energy is moved when you move. Your dream life will manifest when the desire is clear, the intent is focused and you move into action.

You can create a new vision, a new dream, a new life, one focused on more meaning rather than money, more connection than consumption. The chi of place and people interact. You can clear out bad energy and generate energy that sustains joy and health, loving relationships and conscious living. Your home can be your sanctuary – even your sacred space. With desire, intention and action you can start now.

That the earth is in crisis is not new news. Issues of war, poverty, natural disasters, rainforest depletion, polar ice caps disappearing….is the stuff of front page news. Economically, politically, socially and environmentally we face monumental  challenges. Planetary malaise is evident in the quantity and magnitude of natural disasters experienced recently: tsunamis of mega proportions, massive hurricanes, raging forest fires and intense earthquakes that provide mounting evidence that something is out of balance.  There are viable scientific explanations for these crises – global warming as a result of ozone depletion being the prime reason. But that is one perspective only.  Human culpability in the plight of our ecosystem is another aspect of this destruction. It  is the realm of a relatively new discipline called Ecopsychology that investigates this human involvement and offers a way out of the complex maze in which  we find ourselves embedded.
The large human footprint of civilization has exacted a huge toll on nature and disrupted the harmonious balance between all beings on this planet. Our consuming compulsions escalate at alarming rates despite global economic downturns. We drive gas guzzling vehicles that deplete fossil fuels. We pollute our atmosphere, our rivers and streams with industrial and household waste from our bloated living. Through our disruption of the innate order of nature, the vital  diversity of numerous species of  animals and flora are ravaged to extinction.   Environmentalists have admonished such behavior and pointed out repeatedly our collective shameful conduct. Yet we act as if we are immune to and isolated from the consequences of our behavior and  that we are deaf to the warnings. What is at the bottom of such insanity? What is the compulsion  that drives our behavior to the brink of our own destruction?  Can we change in time to reverse the effects of our unconscious behavior? Is change the answer?

In his book, The Voice of the Earth, Theodore Roszak, founder of a new environmental discipline called Ecopsychology,  points to our disconnection from “the living planet that nurtured us” as the cause of our irrational conduct. Through the deifying of technology, science and materialism, we have become disconnected from our ecological unconscious which he defines as   “the living record of cosmic evolution, tracing  back to initial conditions in the history of time”.  He is referring to the very beginnings of our universal existence, our primordial connection to Gaia –a connection that our ancestral cultures intimately honored and respected for the vitality and harmonious existence  it provided.

Our industrial-social heritage has embedded a pejorative view of nature in the human psyche which calls for a stance of ‘dominance over’ in our relationship with the natural world. Such a frame of reference allows little room for  any meaningful, respectful and equal interaction with the cosmos and invites conflictual, anxiety-driven interface with nature, Gaia and in fact, with God.  We are closed to “the true ‘doors of perception’, [and] there is so very much we can no longer ‘see’”.   Roszak offers that “Our sense of being split off from an “outer” world where we find no companionable response has everything to do with our obsessive need to subjugate and conquer”.  This is indeed what we see in the insatiable appetite to consume. People admit when they are given the chance to reflect on their behavior that they feel better when they buy a new electronic gadget, car, clothing. It is not so much about deliberately  deciding to destroy the environment as it is about the momentary sense of  having some power and control over their world that brings  tranquility and fills a nebulous void.  But much like an addictive ‘high’, the feeling is not sustainable as the law of diminishing returns encourages escalation of the behavior and actually models the deeper problem of  disconnection.

From the perspective of Ecopsychology,  consumerism and its devastating consequences is  not a physiological issue that can be filled with material possessions and satisfied by our perceived ability to hold power over our environment. It is a spiritual problem whose solution lies in a loving and compassionate reconnection to nature that in turn heals and fills the inner void with true sustenance. Ecopsychology  seeks to homogenize the imperatives of the environmental movement with the technology of our modern heritage. It suggests a synthesis of  psychological and ancestral perspectives to  provide a pathway through our modern madness to personal and ecological sanity. From the view of Ecopsychology, the two are integrally connected – when we find our personal sanity, ecological sanity will emerge. Roszak suggests that although modern psychology is in service to science and is disconnected from its ancestral roots, the historically philosophical nature of this discipline has as its essential purpose the healing of the wounded soul  and thus it is the obvious tool to use.  By healing the individual wounded soul, the pandemic of unhappiness, discontent and fear that is reflected in our insatiable consumption and results in environmental disequilibrium has potential for healing.

In his book,  Quantum Mind, Dr. Arnold Mindell  explains our intimate connection with all that is around us and in us:   “…when we know ourselves, we know the universe and when we know the universe, we know ourselves.”  Thus, when we change our internal relationship and come to know more of ourselves, we  expand our knowledge of  the universe.  What then would we project  onto our external reality in the world?  If we experience self-honor and self-respect and are at peace with ourselves, would we not  give and receive that in the world?

The possibility to turn around the degeneration of our ecology comes not from the arrogance of our belief that we as humans have the potential to externally change the course of global evolution but from our potential and capability to recognize that we have the personal freedom to enter into a new, respectful relationship with our external world…and in particular, nature.  We can choose to hear Gaia in a new way and make new choices that are in harmony with her needs for sustainability on a global scale. In so doing, we play in the quantum field of universal harmony and surface lasting change that is good for all.

When we re-vision our relationship with multidimensional reality we emerge a natural desire for greater simplicity and no longer need to consume to fill our emptiness and engender a false sense of happiness. What surfaces in this new connection with ourselves and source is an authentic happiness that is both sustainable and healing…..there is choice and we are the purveyors of that choice – what do you choose?

We are undoubtedly in the throes of huge change these days. As I have mentioned in previous posts, the ‘armageddon’-like lore around 2012 is ubiquitous and inescapable. Also inescapable is the fear and visceral survival emotions that are surfacing as we move through this process of change. The grip is powerful and requires the greatest vigilance to maintain some semblance of uprightness in its presence.

Our latest gambling adventure offered one such moment and illustrates how we can become caught up in this grip so easily!  Unlike our last exquisite celebration, this experience (losing)  became a doorway for all the fear, lack and self-flagellation floating in the collective consciousness to spew from my mouth.  The darkness of that focus engendered a sense of hopelessness and powerlessness. It made me consider that the old adage “Money is the root of all evil” is true – for we are enslaved to its presence, its value and we measure our own value by the amount of it we have in our lives – the more we have, the happier and more secure we are taught to believe we will feel. Without money we will not survive! Our instinctual behavior these days is to ‘hunker down’,  weather the economic downturn and eventually resume life as it was…the status quo to which we are indentured and prostituted…consuming to feel better, happier and  grow our personal bubble of survival even at enormous cost to our planet.

Then, as Wisdom always seems to do, I discovered a very interesting and uplifting article in Shift magazine, the monthly publication of Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS) entitled: The Adaptive Organization which can just as easily apply to The Adaptive Organism (we humans being one of those organisms !) It speaks of the inevitability of change that occurs both in nature and in human systems. This evolutionary impulse is precipitated by strain (an engineering term referring to tension created within structures or functions that result from destabilizing events).  That we are in the midst of a destabilizing event of global proportions is irrefutable. The notion is proffered in this article that embracing change and learning from it is the next  adaptive step we must take. The linear, broken system we cling to (the status quo we scramble to return to) –our monetary system, our education system, our isolated, individualistic values  no longer are able to respond to the complexities of our present circumstances.

The most uncomfortable part of this passage through which we are presently navigating and which is causing to cling so desparately to outmoded values and systems is the requirement to literally immerse ourselves in the ‘cauldron of change’ long enough for innovation to emerge. As disquieting as this is, the perspective is that innovation allows us to reintegrate into the global life ecosystem with new patterns of action, behavior that are aligned with a more robust, healthy and intricate structure of living.  Think about this! What if our present circumstances were less about perishing and all about new growth? What if we are being called to replace our fear and limiting beliefs with trust in our own innate ability to innovate? Instead of hopelessness, we are being offered a unique opportunity to make the change work to our advantage – to make us better citizens of the world, in touch with who we are at an interconnected level – Pretty powerful stuff indeed!

So, as I recall the ‘little me’ that mourned the monetary losses I suffered and made it mean the direst of futures – as I overlay the perspective of mucking around in that ‘cauldron of change’ – the value of the lesson comes clear – in that constriction lay the mirror of frozen fear that grips when trying to hang on and survive….what called clearly to me in that and subsequent moments is the requirement to both freely engage risk and totally grow a structural trust within which change can flourish and I can grow.

The story by Dr. Seuss,  On Beyond Zebra offers inspiration to continue on this journey to a future vision that is ripe with possibility:  the story talks about what lies beyond the 26 letters of the alphabet. The wisdom of  the hero, Conrad Cornelius o’Donald o’Dell invites us all to explore what lies beyond Z –

“So on beyond Zebra! Explore! Like Columbus! Discover new letters! Like WUM for Wumbus, My high spouting whale who lives high on a hill And who never comes down ’til its time to refill. So, on beyond Z! It’s high time you were shown That you really don’t know all there is to be known. …If you stay home with Zebra, You’re stuck in a rut. But on beyond Zebra, You’re anything but!….So you see! There’s no end to the things you might know, Depending how far beyond Zebra you go! “   Quotes liberally taken out of the inspiring Dr. Seuss fable that shows us a future vision that is possible.   Maybe it is worth a read! It will inspire you beyond the monetary issues of this present day!

]]> http://thirdspacechronicles.wordpress.com/2009/03/31/a-pecuniary-perspective-of-change/feed/ 6 thirdspacechronicles onbeyondzebraimage money http://thirdspacechronicles.wordpress.com/2009/03/23/hurry-up-and-wait-the-mantra-of-charter-pilots-and-a-metaphor-for-life/ http://thirdspacechronicles.wordpress.com/2009/03/23/hurry-up-and-wait-the-mantra-of-charter-pilots-and-a-metaphor-for-life/#comments Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:35:53 +0000 thirdspacechronicles http://thirdspacechronicles.wordpress.com/?p=167 ]]>

From Kellie:

Years ago when I worked at a charter/scheduled airline in Canada, there was a phenomenon that occurred often with aircraft  charters.   Here is how it went – a customer would call up to charter an aircraft for a specific time; we would find air crew, arrange refreshments, get the aircraft ready to go at the appointed time – sometimes at great inconvenience and haste to be ‘on-time’… then we would begin the long wait for the customer to arrive so we could depart…thus the “Hurry Up and Wait” mantra came into being.  Like the  scenes in a movie that depict the passage of time by showing a character in a series of different positions in the same chair, we would wait and wait and wait and wait some more….refreshments would be returned to the refrigerator then more waiting ……suddenly, the doors of the waiting lounge would fly open, the customer would finally arrive and the chartered flight would begin…at long last, action and successful completion of the task at hand!

It seems that we often encounter a similar experience in pursuit of our personal goals – we start by doing  everything we think we need to do to act upon our focus. We take appropriate steps to get prepared and are full of purpose and direction. Then at some point when we have completed everything we know how to do,  we wait……………. Now what? It is as if we see our destination ( personal vision) across a great amorphous chasm – not at all accessible but clearly seen. How do we get across this abyss? What is it anyway?  Like the charter pilot waiting on the customer, we can spend a great deal of time in this spot frozen in time and space- shifting positions but not really moving.  We can even begin to adapt to this place – it is a comfortable place really. No need to do anything, no compulsion or propulsion to move. Yet we can imagine all the greatness of our vision from here – what it will look like when it is completed, accomplished. In this place there is no risk, no failure AND no action.
It seems to me that often we all get caught up in this ‘hurry up [to get ready] and wait [for something to take us to the next step]‘ game. In the flying analogy, until the customer arrives to kick the flight into gear, we wait – all prepared – but we wait! When the customer arrives, we go! The customer is the physical initiator – the person with whom we made a contract to deliver a service whose arrival is a clearly defined  embarkation point.

In life, that contract for service is with ourselves and our personal vision. It is not so easily identified and defined. The impetus to begin the next phase of action is internal and perhaps less exacting.  In our life waiting lounge, before we launch toward our vision, all our stuff comes up: – our fears of unknown outcomes, our doubts about our capabilities, our insecurities, our worries, our hopes, our beliefs  and if we look hard enough, we might even discover some excitement. It can be an overwhelming place. It can freeze us into immobile statues staring at the horizon to which we want to travel but are unable to take a step toward.  Sometimes it is easier to stand on the edge of action and pretend we are going to start. Occasionally, we peer into that amorphous chasm and have the urge to jump in but we don’t….until….we kick ourselves into gear……we are our own customers! We are wholly and completely in charge of both our flight and our destination….how cool is that?

Let’s say this real flight occurs on a clear night when there is a full moon. I can tell you that there is no more magical or spiritual an experience as this. Caped in darkness, gliding between the moon and stars above and the carpet of city lights below – it is as awe inspiring as it gets. So too, when we decide to see through the eyes of excitement and inspiration, we can choose to be open to some magic as we journey to destination. This blog you are reading is a personal magic carpet ride – when we first began to create it, it felt pretty ordinary, slow moving and actually the exact example of what we just said….it took from June 2008 to early 2009 before any new posts were made and became a regular weekly event…we are unfrozen and flying to our destination of business success.  It started with a manifesting workshop we held locally and sourced from the inspiration of the participants who are also on their journeys as a result.When I look at the blog now, I can see how it is growing and becoming alive. We get comments from people we don’t know! Every little action changes something in the big picture for us. It is with the greatest gratitude and love that we watch this expression of our desires evolve.

So if you find yourself in a “hurry up and wait” mode – know that you can do something about it – it is your call. Also know that it is an integral part of the whole unfolding of the greatest iteration of who you are. Use the ‘waiting’ to ask what is next, to chart your course, to deal with your frozen state and then enjoy every spiritual, physical, mental and emotional moment of the flight to your vision — it is worth it because it will change and empower you !

Sometimes you just have to take the leap and make your wings on the way down!

In closing, I want to thank the participants of our local Manifesting Workshop who have been community and support. In fact, we have become that for each other and it is exciting to see all the forward steps they are taking – to them:  Thank you – ‘clap your hands’ fun – abiding connection!